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Handling Rude Service Professionals


by Tri-County Woman Magazine Staff

Most people have probably come in contact with a less-than-friendly cashier, waitress or salesclerk at one time or another, but is it expecting too much not to be made to feel like a bother? 

“For service professionals, rude behavior could be ignoring you, not giving you any eye contact, talking to someone else while helping you or what have you,” says Lydia Ramsey, business etiquette expert and author of Manners That Sell: Adding the Polish that Builds Profits. “It doesn’t matter if that person had a rough night’s sleep or fought with their boyfriend. It should never affect the level of service you receive.”

So even if your server just got evicted from his home, just had difficulty with the customers in front of you and has a toothache, you should not be treated as if those difficulties are your fault. And suffer in silence you shouldn’t, either. There are plenty of things you can do to keep the ugly behavior to a minimum including:

Treat People Like You Wish to Be Treated - “I call it a polite nudge,” says Peggy Post, etiquette expert and author of The Etiquette Advantage in Business: Personal Skills for Professional Success. “Try to make eye contact and speak as nicely as possible. Don’t come in like ‘I’m the customer and you’re the doormat.’ Usually, that rectifies [a difficult] situation.”

"Being rude back just compounds [it],” adds Ramsey. “When someone is rude to you, it helps to be nice to them,” adding that smiling at your salesperson may be the first step in defusing potential nastiness. She says she really turned on the charm when she encountered a particularly unfriendly flight attendant. The attendant responded with a much nicer attitude almost immediately. “But I had to really play her and it shouldn’t have been that way,” she says.

Speak Up - Bothered by the conversation your cashier had with someone else when she was supposed to be waiting on you? The service might be the same the next time you visit unless you voice your dissatisfaction. 

If your server was particularly nasty, speak to his or her immediate superior about it. Post suggests you contact the hostess or head waitress in a restaurant, the head cashier or store manager in a supermarket or the department manager in a general merchandise or chain store. 

"You are really helping the establishment keep their standards. Any good establishment will want to know what it takes to keep customers happy,” Post adds. 

Stay Calm - No one will want or even be able to communicate with you once you’ve flown off the handle. It’s important to keep your cool when you complain less your concerns not be taken seriously. Raising your voice, demanding to have the server fired or otherwise causing a commotion may get your complaint swiftly pushed to the back burner.

Follow the Chain of Command - Shoddy service can be extremely aggravating, but you should still follow the chain of command and exhaust all other routes before phoning the company C.E.O.

"Give [the service supervisors] the opportunity to correct the situation and discipline the employee first,” Ramsey says. And if it feels like lip service, don’t be afraid to ask for the supervisor’s name and find out how the situation will be rectified. 

"The customer should be told how it will be handled,” she adds. “It would be in the best interest of the business to do more than just take the complaint and say ‘We’ll handle it.’”

Take it to the Next Level - Chain stores and other companies with national affiliations will often go through hell and high water to keep you from connecting with their corporate headquarters. If you feel like your issues are not being handled effectively by the store’s top brass, ask for the corporate 1-800 number or email address and follow up accordingly. 

“People often complain in the wrong places,” says Jon Van Vlack, a former professional consumer advocate in Ulster County. “The last thing the company wants to do is hand the complaint to the home office. I’ve found that email gets almost immediate attention even when your phone messages are not returned.”

Lodge A Formal Complaint - The vast majority of companies will be willing to rectify the situation in a timely manner. But, if the one you are dealing with does not, you can file a complaint with your county agency or the state attorney general’s office. 

“The bottom line is that corporations don’t exist in a vacuum. They all have somewhere to answer to,” Van Vlack adds. “If you follow through, you’re gonna wear them down.” 

Consider Taking Your Business Elsewhere – According to Van Vlack, supermarkets expect to loose about one-third of their customers each year. “They also gain about one-third as well, probably from other supermarkets.”

If you are unable or unwilling to try another business (if you live in a town that has only one supermarket or your usual haunt is on your way home from work, for instance), try to build an individual relationship with your store by knowing the staff and making sure they know you. If, for example, you know that one cashier is always grumpy, avoid her check out line like the plague. It won’t do anything to help with the cashier’s attitude, but it could make your shopping experience a bit more enjoyable. 

Reward Good Service - When a cashier or waitress is especially friendly or goes out of her way to make you feel like you matter, make it a point to let her and the management know about it. Tell her how her demeanor made you feel and fill out one of those “How Was Your Service?” cards. Let the company know that the service is why you will continue to spend your ducats there. 

“Retailers realize that good service is good for business,” Post says. "They recognize that it pays to be nice.”

For formal complaints, call 340.3260 (the Ulster County Department of Consumer Affairs), 291.2400 (the Orange County Department of Consumer Affairs) or 486.2949 (the Dutchess County Department of Consumer Affairs) for assistance. You can also reach the State Attorney General’s Office of Consumer Frauds and Protection at 1.800.771.7755.

This article originally appeared in the May/June 2018 issue.

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